Your Beer Commissioner does not consider himself a high roller.  Do I like to gamble?  That's like asking if the Pope likes going to mass.  I'll bet on just about anything.  When I was in college, I was at the dog track every Tuesday night, which coincidentally was .25 cent beer and hot dog night.  Seriously, .25 cents for a beer and a hot dog.  Sure, the beer was usually warm, the hot dogs were those little red hot dogs, but still, can you really beat .25 cents for a beer and a hot dog?

I was first introduced to 'big time' gambling when I joined the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity at the University of Alabama.  That's when I first learned about bookies, parlays, teasers and the juice.  Guys were betting, what I then thought were huge amounts of money on football games ($100 or $200 hundred a game), which now seems like chump change, but still, was a ton of money for college kids with nothing.  One of my fraternity brothers was what I'd call a degenerate gambler.  One of my other fraternity brothers still fondly tells the tale of when the gambling brother offered to 'jump him' for $20.  Puzzled, the one said, what the hell is 'jumping'? Sure enough, the gambler said, we'll stand here and see who can jump farther for $20.  The latter turned down the former.

To this day, I still don't bet on football, and I certainly wouldn't jump anyone for a beer, much less $20.  I will go beer for beer against just about anyone though.  I've been to Vegas numerous times. I've played in some pretty high stakes poker games, and I've even cashed at the World Series of Poker.  There isn't much anyone call tell me that will surprise me when it comes to gambling. I've seen and heard it all.

On my first trip to Las Vegas, I played in the Four Queens Poker Classic.  This is by no means a big time tournament, but it was my first.  It was No-Limit Hold-em, multiple rebuy, and I actually cashed in the event.  That very first tournament opened my eyes to a new level of 'high rolling' I had never heard of or thought was possible.  That first Vegas  tournament I played in 7 years ago, I was introduced to some 'characters', one of which was "Silent Bob", who is a very accomplished poker player, having won a couple of World Series of Poker bracelets.  I was moved to a table where I sat between "Silent Bob" and another player who had previously won the main event at the WSOP.  Silent Bob was about 2/3 into a bottle of vodka, and he was apparently about 10 minutes into a 20 minute story about how the waitresses sucked, because he had asked for a vodka with cranberry juice, and the waitress came back and asked if apple juice was ok.  Silent Bob was completely indignant, and was going on and on about the general level of incompetance of the scantily clad waitstaff.  Finally, the player who won the WSOP bet Silent Bob $10,000 he couldn't keep quiet for one hour.  Silent Bob immediately accepted.  I thought this was a fools bet, since Silent Bob, apparently got his name because he talked more than any human being alive, and he was already drunk as Cooter Brown on a bender.  Since, I was sitting between the 2 men, I was deemed the keeper of the loot.  So, here I was holding $20,000.00 sitting between these two guys.  After about 40 minutes, the WSOP winner offers anyone $1000 that can get Bob to speak.  He of course doesn't.  At 1 second past one hour, Silent Bob turns to me and says, "Did the White Sox win?"  Silent Bob bet $25,000.00 on the White Sox to win.  He showed me his betting slip.

During that tournament, I was exposed to lots of high roller activity.  I saw men bet $1000.00 on who the waitress would ask who wanted a drink first.  I saw another guy purposely get knocked out of the tournament when he realized he sold 105% of himself, meaning if he won the tournament, it was going to cost him money to pay off all his backers.  I saw 2 guys flip a quarter for $5000.  I saw other guys betting red or black on the flop for $3000 a flop.  I couldn't believe it, but I certainly did love it.   All of these guys would pull wads of cash out of their pockets thick enough to choke a horse, and they'd peel off hundred dollar bills like they had a tree of them growing in their backyard.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and I've seen it dozens of times since. 

I've certainly never bet anyone $10,000 that I could keep quiet for an hour, although, I would.  I've never bet $25,000.00 on a baseball game, much less the White Sox.  I do not consider myself a high roller.  So, what is the point of all of this?

Well, tonight when I was driving home, I passed a car on the road with the license tag 'HIROLER'.  Either this guy likes rolling joints at altitude, or he fancies himself a big time gambler.  What image do you have of someone with HIROLER on their license plate?  I immediately thought of Brioni shirts, someone probably wearing a gold necklace, Rolex presidential watch, big, fake, chested bleach blonde girlfriend.  The kind of guy that makes it rain at strip clubs with $20s.  The kind of guy that tips the maitré de $100 so he doesn't have to wait for his table.  The kind of guy that has a tux, and has worn it in a casino in Monaco. 

However, the HIROLER I spotted today, was cruisin around town in his raggedy black STATION WAGON.  If you happen to see this poor bastard, please, buy him a beer, but only a light beer.  Apparently he ran into someone who 'jumps' farther than him, and all he has left of his dignity is that license tag. At least, that's what I hope.