Apparently the general manager of the PIttsburgh Pirates saw the Adam Sandler classic "The Waterboy" over the weekend.  Perhaps the Pirate fan base is growing uneasy with their team finishing in last place every year.  Long gone are the glory days of Willie Stargell, Dave Parker, Omar Moreno, Bill Madlock, Scrap-Iron Phil Garner and the sidewinder Kent Tekulve out of the bull pen.  For the past 29 or so years the Pirate fans have been blessed with......well, exactly, nobody knows.  Doug Drabek won a Cy Young award in there somewhere. 
Perhaps the Pirate general manager wants another Cy Young pitcher, and he is stopping at nothing to get it.

Signing CC Sabathia, apparently not an option.  Trading for Cole Hammels, not an option.  Developing a Cy Young type pitcher through their minor league system, apparently not an option.

Nope, the general manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates signed two Indian (dots not feathers) guys to contracts.  These aren't just any two Indian guys mind you.  These Indian guys were on a game show, called "Million Dollar Arm".  In a never ending quest to find a new realty tv program, the Indian version of Aaron Spelling thought, why don't I search all of India, and see if I can find someone who can throw a baseball 90 mph, and I'll convince some major league baseball team to sign them to a million dollar contract.  Then, this guy calls the Pittsburgh Pirates and they say, "COUNT US IN!"

Are you kidding me?  No wonder the Pirates haven't won anything in say......whenever Barry Bonds was in a uniform in Pittsburgh.  So the show goes off without a hitch, and low and behold they find 2 guys that didn't hit 90 on a radar gun, but did get it up there in the 84 range.  So, the 2 Indian guys don't get their million dollars, but the Pirates signed them anyway!  Folks, just understand, these aren't just any game show winners the Pittsburgh Pirates signed.  These are two guys who have never left their villages in India.  These are two guys who don't own a baseball glove.  Even better my friends.....these guys HAVE NEVER PLAYED BASEBALL!  You heard me. A major league baseball team signed two guys to major league contracts, who never played baseball, because they got close to winning a game show in India.

I'm not sure where to apply for the job.  I'm not even sure I want to live in Pittsburgh, but I swear on a 6-pack, if that is the kind of out-side the box thinking the Pirates are looking for, I'm their guy.  I'm going to have the winner of the lumberjack competition on ESPN hitting cleanup.  I'm going to have the local trash collector playing shortstop.  During Mardi Gras I'm going to check out all the gay bars in New Orleans.  I'm quite certain I'll be able to find a good catcher.