Today I went to the grocery store to pick up hot dogs and hamburger buns for this evening's bbq.  You have 1 guess as to what ice cold beverage I'll be drinking as I'm toiling over the grill.  Somewhere between the butter and the cottage cheese, an older gentlemen is contemplating very loudly at the high prices of his dairy products.

Then this older gentlemen goes into, what I'll call a tirade.  This lasted a good two minutes.  I actually enjoyed the tirade, and stopped somewhere between the peanut butter and the little bitty powdered donuts to listen.  According to this gentlemen, our esteemed President Bush is responsible for the 'sky-high price of butter'.  I didn't know?  However, this gentlemen was speaking with such great authority and conviction, I'm automatically assuming, that somehow our president is somehow negatively impacting the butter churning amish people, which is adversely affecting the price of America's favorite cholesterol inducing condiment.

By the time I noticed the little spiral cinnamon things, our hero started going off on milk prices, and wouldn't you know it, our president was to blame for that too?  Well, mentally I had moved onto how I was going to sneak the spiral cinnamon things in the house past my kids, when our wanna be Michael Kinsley was confronted by, the last person in America outside of the Bush family, who appeared completely willing to defend the president.  According to the newest denzian of the dairy aisle, it was the democratic congress that was wholly and completely responsible for the astronomical prices of groceries.  I really thought some eggs were going to fly, but apparently both of these guys knew, the price of throwing a dozen eggs, isn't $4.99, but rather 2-5, as groceries are now so expensive as to constitute a felony to start a food fight in the grocery store.

The Commissioner has some strong thoughts on this matter.  Well, what are they?  The Commissioner is reminded about an interview held with Michael Jordan, several years ago.  Michael Jordan was asked, why he didn't get involved in politics?  His answer: "republicans buy basketball tickets too."

However, I'm going to follow the rules set forth by the candidates themselves when discussing politics.  One candidate states you are not permitted to talk about:  his race, his ears, his religion, his experience (or lack thereof), we aren't allowed to talk about his ideology, as that is the politics of the past, we aren't allowed to talk about his views, as that is just partisan politics, and heavens knows we can't engage in partisan politics in an election year! We aren't allowed to talk about his wife, we aren't allowed to talk about his friends who want to blow up the Pentagon, we aren't allowed to talk about why he won't say the pledge of allegiance, we aren't allowed to talk about his minister, and we aren't even allowed to talk about his middle name, and we certainly cannot, under any circumstances draw political cartoons about him.

The other candidate says, we aren't allowed to talk about his age, we aren't allowed to talk about the inconsistency in his opinions or his votes over the past 30 years, we aren't allowed to talk about his wife, other than her family was primarily responsible for quenching the thirst of the entire southwestern United States, we aren't allowed to talk about his finances, we aren't allowed to talk about his health, and we aren't allowed to talk about why he won't criticize the person he is running against, and we certainly cannot under any circumstance talk about the Keating 5, which isn't relevant at all, since we aren't living in a time when the stock market is crashing and banks are failing. 

So, by following those very specific rules, I have the following to say about the upcoming election.......