We have all been there.    We go to a barbeque at a friend’s house, or as is usually the case, a friend of your better half’s house, and the beer being served is not your favorite brand.  Or even worse, the scenario where there is no beer served at all.  This past Christmas the Commissioner and his wife attended a Christmas party.  We didn’t really want to attend the party, but we had to out of obligation.  The Commissioner was suckered into the party on the promise, “you know they’ll have beer.” 

So we get to the party.  There was a “bar” set up with mainly well brands, and an unlimited supply of $7 wine.  Sadly, no beer.  One of the other attendees at the party, brought her own 6 pack.  She offered me one, but sadly, the six pack was a beer I’m not particularly fond of, and taking one of her beers would have obligated me to chat with her for about 15 minutes, and that was just not a sacrifice I was willing to make.

The dilemma, what do you do when there is no beer, or not your favorite beer at a party?  Well, the Commissioner, at the Christmas party, politely told everyone who offered him a drink, I was driving.  This serves two purposes, one, it gets everyone home safely, and two, it gives everyone else the false sense of your higher responsibility.  You can parlay this "responsible you", into guarding the keg at the next event, or sitting on the ice chest at the next tailgate.  Sometimes it pays to take one for the team.

Well, assume you do not want to be all pious, and you are just downright thirsty.  Well if they have no beer, you just may be stuck with the $7 wine.  Or, you can do what the Commish should have done, and that is take your own little mini-cooler of beer.  This way you know you always have the frosty beverage of your choice.  Another added benefit, chances are someone else at the party is going to be in the same "no beer" conundrum you found yourself in.  By sharing your beer, you could very well become the hit of the party, and be invited to go golfing, hunting or fishing, as your general sense of being cool and prepared will be acknowledged by all. 

Another more troubling scenario, what do you do if the only beer at the event is just not to your liking, but one is opened and handed to you (and this has happened to all of us)? We all know the First Commandment of the Beer Commissioner is: Thou Shall Not Waste Beer.  Your only choice in this situation, assuming you are going the non-pius route, is to follow the advice given to President Nixon when he first traveled to China.  President Nixon was very worried about having to force down pickled squid crap at some state dinner.  He was told, don’t think, don't chew, just swallow.

Under no circumstances do you tell the host at your event, you do not like the cold, free beer they are serving.  The Second Commandment of the Beer Commissioner: Thou Shall Not Criticize the Brand of Free Beer.  There is only ONE acceptable critique to give to the provider of free beer, and that is to temperature.  After all, that’s just helping out.